At first this season, it looked like Doctor Who had brought back cold opens (pre-credit sequences)! To celebrate, I launched an occasional series in which I rewatch all the cold opens from “new” Who in an attempt to decide which are the best. I’m judging the cold open alone, regardless of how I feel about the episode it introduces.
1.The End of the World
This begins with an unnecessary seeming recap. Then a long TARDIS scene and then a scene in a room which now looks surprisingly unimpressive. The climactic effects are good, but overall I feel like this went on for too long.
5/10
2.The Unquiet Dead
Atmospheric, horrific, funny, introduces important characters and locations - this is how you do it.
8/10
3.Aliens of London
Absolute game-changer. The Doctor returns to characters and locations from episode one and we confront the consequences of his lifestyle for the first time. It’s directed stylishly, with the flapping poster attracting our attention, and the Doctor’s, ominously. But the playing of a year of grief for Jackie, plus its subsequent downplaying, doesn’t sit well with me.
7/10
4.Dalek
Two stories in a row that begin with the TARDIS landing. The Doctor and Rose explore their immediate environs and then there’s that bizarre bit with the cyber head which is quite lovely for fans but rather gives the impression that this is going to be a story all about the Cybermen. And it ends with men with guns which is a little pedestrian.
6/10
5.The Long Game
Once again, the TARDIS lands, but I really like the way that this echoes and subverts the very first cold open by having Rose pretend to know everything in a superb bit of acting from Billie Piper. The comedy faint at the end is a little bit of a bum note though.
7/10
6.Father’s Day
This is rather lovely. Still shots of Pete Tyler, a young Rose and some nice tender acting from Camille Coduri. The TARDIS scene feels a little undercooked, but ending on another still shot is nice. It sets up what the episode is going to be about and shows that this is going to be a very different kind of Doctor Who story.
7/10
7.The Empty Child
High energy with dialogue that now seems very Moffat, especially all the mauve stuff. It doesn’t really give any idea about the what the rest of the story is going to be like, though.
6/10
8.Boom Town
This one does actually require a recap and a six months later caption. Then we get a single scene between the wonderful Annette Badland and the equally wonderful William Thomas. The bare bones of the plot are laid out in front of us, but ending with a simple shot of the Slitheen attacking him is hardly a twist.
6/10
9.Bad Wolf
Oh yeah, I love this one. They really didn’t have to be so slavishly accurate to the real Big Brother TV series, but it is so much better that they are. That superb Paul Oakenfold theme music, the logo, even the voice of Davina. Oh, and Christopher Eccleston’s closing line. However, this time I could’ve done without the recap and the 100 years later caption.
9.5/10
10.The Christmas Invasion
Zoom in on the Earth. Establish Christmas. Play Slade. Then Jackie and Mickey rush to the TARDIS landing and hello, here’s David Tennant, already so much of his performance nailed. He says Merry Christmas and then Jackie gets to do the Doctor Who joke. This is exactly the way to open the show’s first Christmas special.
9/10
11.New Earth
Very atmospheric shots of the Doctor powering up the TARDIS. We even get Noel and Camille hired for a day’s work. Then: “Where are we going?” “Further than we’ve ever gone before.” Well, by a few weeks anyway. It’s quite stylish but it doesn’t really do anything, does it?
6/10
12.Tooth and Claw
Wow. Great location work. Kung fu monks. Matrix-style slo-mo. Then a pretty good scream at the end. The rest of the story is only minimally reliant on kung fu monks, but this is a pretty good enticement to watch.
8/10
13.School Reunion
This very accurately shows us what the episode will be like, but I’m not sold. Never much liked Anthony Head’s performance and here he kills a young girl who we’re never again encouraged to give a damn about. Then Tennant grins.
4/10
14.The Girl In The Fireplace
All is not well at the Palace of Versailles. It’s clearly opening in media res, and Sophia Myles makes an immediate impact. But ending on “Doctor! Doctor!” - was that supposed to be any kind of surprise?
8/10
15.Rise of the Cybermen
This starts really well with the Genesis of the Cybermen and the way it recognises its creator. But as soon as we get the beyond the grave line, the comedy death of Dr Kendrick and the bizarre Great Britain line, this has gone off the boil.
5/10
16.The Idiot’s Lantern
Very atmospheric. The old woman’s dialogue is a little on the nose, but Maureen Lipman really sells her bits so the cliffhanger is effective.
8/10
17.The Impossible Planet
Mm, yes please. This is a perfect example of taking the 25 minutes of an old style part one and condensing it into a two minute cold open complete with very effective cliffhanger. The exploration of the sanctuary base, the foreboding nature of the writing on the wall and then the appearance of the Ood are all done expertly. This could be full marks if it wasn’t for that moment where the Doctor and Rose laugh in a really forced manner.
9/10
18.Love & Monsters
This is meta. A few minutes after the titles, Elton says “I just put that bit at the beginning because it’s a brilliant opening.” And it is pretty good. A man running; awe and wonder at seeing the TARDIS; the Doctor and Rose’s voices; appearance of a scary monster. And then cut to Elton talking into his video camera, which really gives us an idea of what we are going to be watching for the next 40 minutes.
7/10
19.Fear Her
You have to be quite forgiving to accept this is a real street, but once you get past that, this does a good job. It sets up key characters – Trish, Mo Butcher – and first through suggestion then through showing us we realise that the little girl upstairs is our antagonist. And of course it ends with that amazing sequence where the little boy vanishes and becomes a living drawing.
8/10
20.Army of Ghosts
It’s all so ridiculously portentous and over the top. And also hugely misleading. On so many levels, it’s not good. However, it’s exactly what the series needed on that particular day to set up the end of that particular series in 2006. It does what it has to.
7/10
21.The Runaway Bride
We’ve seen the second half of this before, and the first half doesn’t tell us anything we couldn’t have guessed. But it’s fine.
5/10
22.The Shakespeare Code
I make this at least the fourth time the series has done “character we’ll never think about again killed off in the cold open by the monsters“. It does it quite well though, with entertaining performances and a villain monologue to camera leading into the titles.
7/10
23.Gridlock
That’s two more cold open corpses. Dramatic, exciting and tells you absolutely nothing.
7/10
24.Daleks in Manhattan
This has the same shape as the last couple, but at least we are going to see Laszlo again. More problematic are the accents and the climactic reveal of… A pig man.
5/10
25.The Lazarus Experiment
This is an odd one, because it’s trying to be an ending with only the briefest glimpse of the actual plot of the episode. But it’s worth it for the Doctor’s last line, which indicates that this is far from being an ending.
6/10
26.42
Very impressive effects, sweaty people and a ticking clock. All the guff about Martha’s phone could perhaps have gone elsewhere though. (I know we need it for later in the episode, but it’s slightly businessy for a cold open.)
7/10
27.Human Nature
This one is almost perfect. The abrupt switch from the frenetic activity in the TARDIS to John Smith waking up in bed works really well, and the only thing keeping this from full marks is that the dialogue between then and the titles goes on a little too long and takes a little too much time to get to the point.
9/10
28.Blink
Not as scary as you’d think, but spooky. Without any dialogue, Carey Mulligan impresses and the shtick of having messages to her behind the wallpaper is very effective.
10/10
29.Utopia
There must’ve been a smoother way of doing this. This cold open is essential to crowbar Jack into the plot of the story and to make sure the Master gets back here at the end of the episode. But it has no real intrinsic value in itself and the sight of Jack clinging onto the TARDIS just looks stupid. And the climactic shot of the futurekind doesn’t help either, because they’re also not very good.
3/10
30.The Sound of Drums
This gets a cold open rather than a previously on, so that should answer all the questions about whether this is a three parter or not. There is a lot of plot explanation to get into these couple of minutes, including the concept of regeneration and how they got back to the 21st century. But it all ends very nicely, with the Master as Prime Minister and his quip about the Doctor.
8/10
31.Voyage of the Damned
With one bound, Jack was free, but this isn’t about cliffhanger resolutions. Once he gets on board the space Titanic, we get robotic Host, a glimpse of Kylie, the small red conker man, and then an effects shot of the best sea vessel in space since season 20. All to the sound of Jingle Bells and that final announcement saying welcome to Christmas. It’s not exactly high impact, but it does the job.
5/10
32.The Fires of Pompeii
A nice little jaunt about ancient Pompeii, but as a cold open it lacks a sense of urgency. A little too much sightseeing and the Welsh joke. The two leads are engaging though, and it leads to a dramatic final moment. Plus, Karen Gillan is following them around everywhere.
7/10
33.Planet of the Ood
The advertising pastiche is nice, but then this becomes yet another irrelevant cold open corpse. Reintroducing the Ood and making them scary without the devil behind them was a tough job, so it makes sense they would try to do this right from the off.
6/10
34.The Sontaran Stratagem
Yes, it’s another cold open corpse, but a good one. A bit of a shame to kill off the wonderful Eleanor Matsuura so abruptly. And a bit of a shame that the rest of the story frankly relies on evil satnav in a very marginal capacity. However, there’s business to take care of apparently, so this can’t be the end of the cold open. Back to the TARDIS and a phone call from Freema Agyeman delivering that line in such a terrible manner.
6/10
35.The Doctor’s Daughter
Right, we need to get Georgia Moffett saying hello dad right before the titles start. But there is a hell of a lot to manage before then. To its credit, it crams them in fairly effectively, but it doesn’t work as well as it thinks it does. And you know, she’s not his daughter. Contrary to the previous story, Martha is the best thing in this, with that reawakened sense of excitement.
6/10
36.The Unicorn and the Wasp
Great period feel, but yes, it’s another irrelevant corpse. And do we really need to see the wasp in the cold open? Especially wielding lead piping?
6/10
37.Silence in the Library
Brilliant. The link between the library and Cal’s living room set up from the word go, then the intrusion of a mid-story Doctor and Donna. Intriguing, tense and fun.
10/10
38.Midnight
Glib. Dressing exposition up as banter, explaining away Donna’s absence, and doing it glibly.
2/10
39.Turn Left
Boy, that was long. Good, but in need of an edit. Again, we have to accept a lot of shortcuts to get us to the place where the cold open has to end. And what on earth is with the sheer orientalism of the planet Shan Shen? But it’s a strong concept to open with and a deceptively simple final image.
7/10
40.The Stolen Earth
I count at least 8 fantastic moments in this cold open. And they’re surrounded by very good moments. It’s no mean feat to cram twelve recurring characters into less than 5 minutes and still make a passing milkman central.
10/10
41.The Next Doctor
Now that’s a Christmassy Dickensian mood. The Doctor’s loving it and so are we. Then Rosita yells “Doctor!” and the rest of it is played perfectly.
10/10
42.Planet of the Dead
You can’t fault this show for ambition. The only real flaw here is that Michelle Ryan’s character is so instantly unlikable, which I doubt was the intention. And her delivery of the sorry lover line is excruciating. But everything else here is hugely entertaining. Happy Easter.
9/10
43.The Waters of Mars
No, surprisingly, this doesn’t work at all. Message from home, fine. Doctor lands on a planet, fine. Putting up a no trespassers sign, fine. Altogether, a little too bitty. And ending on the Doctor being arrested by Gadget is ludicrous more than anything else.
4/10
44.The End of Time
For the gazillionth time, we zoom in from space to London. Timothy Dalton gets some dreadful dialogue to narrate. Actually, everyone’s dialogue is naff. Not very RTD. There’s the meaningless stained glass and the random Mother. But on the plus side, Bernard Cribbins.
4/10
45.The Eleventh Hour
New Doctor! New show runner! Everything’s new! Zoom in from space to London, where an exploding TARDIS is threatening to crash. No dialogue, no point, pure spectacle.
2/10
46.The Beast Below
Good effects. Very scary, very Paradise Towers. But – and this is not the only cold open to do this – it actually bears very little relation to what we will next see. Elevators and zeroes are not going to play as big a part in this as we would think. So it’s effective, but a little gratuitous.
6/10
47.Victory of the Daleks
Lovely to see a bit of restraint in this one. It’s very short and resists getting us to the actual reveal of the Daleks. Pushing the little Dalek across the map is a good compromise. We get the war rooms, we get Churchill – very good.
8/10
48.The Time of Angels
By contrast, more happens in this cold open than in some entire stories. The museum, River Song, it’s all good and well directed. But… Why Mike Skinner?
8/10
49.Vampires of Venice
This one is very much a game of two halves. Very effective stuff in Venice which ends on a scream that should go perfectly into the titles. Except we have to go to Rory’s stag do instead so that Matt Smith can deliver absolutely appalling dialogue.
5/10
50.Amy’s Choice
This is a very tough concept to get across in a cold open, which is why this one is so very long. It doesn’t feel terribly effective, given how much I love this episode overall. Maybe Toby Jones should’ve been in the cold open? Oh, and what is with the self harm joke?
6/10
51.The Hungry Earth
Pretty hard to fault this one. The Gruffalo, the drilling, the assorted characters, the hungry Earth. Textbook and very Pertwee.
10/10
52.Vincent and the Doctor
Open on Theresa May running through fields of wheat, a glimpse of Vincent, and then we’re at the Musee d’Orsay with Bill Nighy. And this scene goes on forever. There is nothing bad in it, it’s just way too much for the cold open. And really Doctor, you know evil when you see it? Does the giant chicken turn out to be evil?
6/10
53.The Lodger
Three things: the TARDIS going wonky, the sinister thing upstairs and the young non-couple. To be honest, I think James Corden and Daisy Haggard would have been enough. Again, it’s too long - but charming.
7/10
54.The Pandorica Opens
Long? You bet. But wow. A tour through most of the preceding season plus extras, ending on an iconic image. It’s impressive.
9/10
55.A Christmas Carol
I’d have gone with Michael Gambon myself. Still, this is exciting. The Ponds’ outfits, though. And the crowbarred references to Christmas.
6/10
56.The Impossible Astronaut
GET TO THE POINT! All that awful stuff with Charles II and Laurel & Hardy. Why not just start in Utah? But even there, everyone’s posturing and showing off. This is flabby.
3/10
57.Curse of the Black Spot
Pirate ship. Random death. Hugh Bonneville. And enter the gang with a Yo ho ho! Very serviceable.
7/10
58.The Doctor’s Wife
The final twist is a good moment and there’s a lot to love here, but again it does take its time to get here. And this cold open gives us the concept of M2F regeneration too.
7/10
59.The Rebel Flesh
I remember this as very intriguing and a little gruesome. It’s still both those things. All that keeps it from being outstanding is an inability to connect with these people, partly because they’re obscured by the suits and partly because they’re not sufficiently differentiated in the writing.
7/10
60.A Good Man Goes to War
Oh yes. Rory versus Cybermen. I love it.
10/10
61.Let’s Kill Hitler
A high impact and fairly amusing way of dealing with various concepts that are never ever going to work, no matter what they do. Mels is an engaging addition to the mythos and delivers her final line well.
6/10
62.Night Terrors
It’s very well directed, but the fact that it looks like a ham fisted way of approaching OCD is a bit cringy. As is Matt Smith’s performance.
5/10
63.The Girl Who Waited
One problem with these complex concept stories is that it’s hard to encapsulate them in a cold open. Another problem is that sometimes it requires a lack of common sense to make them happen. “Which button?“
7/10
64.The God Complex
Great art direction, cinematography, direction. It all adds up to another pre-credits corpse, but the whole set up is spooky and quirky enough to get away with it.
8/10
65.Closing Time
Last time we met Craig, I said he and Sophie were enough to sustain the cold open. This time, he’s the extraneous element. Shona’s unfortunate encounter with a Cyberman is what we need.
6/10
66.The Wedding of River Song
Such an almighty head-**ck. Churchill! Pterodactyls! Simon Callow! Silurian! It’s only Matt Smith’s two words at the end that detract from this.
9/10
67.The Doctor, the Widow and the Wardrobe
Had a bit of money to use up, did we?
5/10
68.Asylum of the Daleks
Oh, this effing season. There’s just so much wrong here. Firstly, how about the way that we now have to go around gathering up the cast at the start of the story, like the Star Trek movies trying desperately to crowbar Worf in. And the fact that Amy and Rory are getting a divorce which is just so utterly wrong. And Amy as a supermodel. And the Daleks have a parliament. And that whole over the top opening sequence on Skaro for no very good reason. And the 11 out of 10 joke. Aargh. And the last line was really great when it was in a far superior DWM comic strip. It’s not all bad – it looks great although the music doesn’t sound great and the Dalek stuff hiding in the woman’s head is a good idea. But yuck.
2/10
69.Dinosaurs on a Spaceship
Same problem as last time. Let us imagine, for a moment, that the TARDIS landed on a spaceship and the Doctor, Amy and Rory got out and encountered some dinosaurs. That would take about a minute and it would be brilliant. But no, we have to rush around the universe picking up lots of random people for no terribly good reason first. Oh, plus sex jokes.
3/10
70.A Town Called Mercy
Much, much better. Voice over aside, a simple confrontation between two unknown aliens, ending in a pre-credits corpse and a threat against “the Doctor”. Textbook.
8/10
71.The Power of Three
That’s the third cold open out of the last 4 to begin with a voice-over, this time Amy. This doesn’t even feel like the right TV series anymore. Again, what if this just started with Amy and Rory in bed and then the cube appeared? Intriguing, subtle, good.
3/10
72.The Angels Take Manhattan
Despite yet another voice-over, and yet another pre-credits corpse,this is atmospheric and effective, if somewhat unpleasant in its concept. Therefore, very reflective of the episode to come. Your mileage may vary on the ending of it, but my feeling is that a) they had to and b) it’s daft.
6/10
73.The Snowmen
I still love the opening seconds of this one. And all the stuff with Dr Simeon, both young and old, is pretty great too, although I would probably not have revealed the snow globe at this stage. But of course, we have to reveal Clara and the Doctor before the titles come in, so the whole thing feels too long. It’s still good though, even if it does heftily rely on those special two words at the end.
8/10
74.The Bells of St John
Hello, that looks like Doctor Who’s mojo. Welcome back. A great idea, communicated effectively, with striking visuals. Be honest, aren’t you surprised that the monastery comes after the titles?
9/10
75.The Rings of Akhaten
The whole leaf story is quite interesting and very romantic, but odd when squeezed into a cold open at the start of a story that will only at the very end have any tangential connection to it. Couldn’t this have been a whole episode? Could we have got to know these people better? Although it doesn’t help that the actress playing Clara’s mother is unable to pull off the phrase “oh my stars”. And the biggest problem, I’m afraid, is Matt Smith and the dialogue he has been given.
6/10
76.Cold War
This one barely puts a foot wrong. All the submarine stuff is great, I’m loving the on-screen captions this year and the predictable but effective sting at the end when Pyotr becomes the latest pre-credits corpse is great. Only the fact that David Warner has been asked to sing along to Ultravox and can’t is a problem.
8/10
77.Hide
It’s a really bad sign when you’re watching a very effective, enjoyable, atmospheric piece of television and then it’s all ruined by the appearance of the Doctor and the companion.
7/10
78.Journey to the centre of the TARDIS
There is something good here, but it’s hard to spot. It’s certainly not inside the TARDIS where neither the plotting nor the acting, not to mention the direction, are being very helpful. Things aren’t much better over on the salvage ship. Still, the exteriors look good.
3/10
79.The Crimson Horror
Absolutely gorgeous. The performances, the setting, the dialogue – great. The only letdown is the silly fainting of Mr Thursday.
9/10
80.Nightmare in Silver
Nothing here is really working. Too many disparate elements; it looks cheap; the boy’s dialogue is awful; and the Cyberman reveal is less convincing than Tomb:1.
3/10
81.The Name of the Doctor
Fansplosion. The CGI isn’t quite up to it, but never mind - it’s fun to see Jenna almost interact with the past Doctors, to the extent that one can miss the absence of any real content from this cold open. Oh yeah, the workshop guys at the beginning - masterstroke.
8/10
82.The Time of the Doctor
“I’m cooking Christmas dinner!” “I’m being shot at by Cybermen!” “Well, can’t we do both?” Not as effectively as you clearly imagine, no. This whole frenetic opening is more annoying than engaging, although Handles is cool. And enough with the voice overs.
4/10
83.Deep Breath
Good dinosaur. Decent use of the Paternoster gang. The new Doctor’s post-regenerative trauma is a little annoying but could be worse. Clara’s hair is amazing. Vastra’s final line is 👌. But the whole thing feels a little bloated and doesn’t quite land moments, which will go on to be true about Deep Breath in general.
6/10
84.Into the Dalek
Rather a good start. Great sci-fi visuals, really impressive space battle. I like the stuff getting Journey Blue to say please and the stuff with her uncle too. The proctologist line is funny. And, inevitably, the revelation of the Dalek patient. Yes, even though it’s quite long, this one works well.
8/10
85.Robot of Sherwood
“You’ll only be disappointed,” says the Doctor. And we would have been if Robin hadn’t been right outside the TARDIS before the titles.
8/10
86.Listen
This one is so weird, but in a way I feel like this is the true beginning of the Capaldi era. He will end his days talking to himself too. It’s very effective, but I can’t quite get on board with doing yoga on top of the TARDIS.
9/10
87.Time Heist
I generally like the Danny stuff in this season, but not in this bit. And I can’t stand the Doctor-insulting-Clara thing. But everything from the phone ringing onwards is great.
7/10
88.The Caretaker
The frenetic opening section of this feels like it’s been done before, most obviously in The Power of Three. But then we get a TARDIS scene in which Gareth Roberts quotes from Dirk Gently, which puts me much more on side. And then the scene in the staffroom, where the Doctor is bad at being undercover.
7/10
89.Kill the Moon
An in media res clip (very short) where Clara states the central dilemma of the episode, but it manages to be pretty clunkily written.
6/10
90.Mummy on the Orient Express
This is art. 66 seconds for Miss Hardaker to be killed by a mummy, then as if that wasn’t enough, a shot of the train in space.
10/10
91.Flatline
Jamie Mathieson tries a very similar trick to “Mummy”, giving us a pre-credits corpse with an imaginative death. Too unclear exactly what’s happened to him, though - and I’ve no idea how beardy man somehow “figured it all out”.
8/10
92.In the Forest of the Night
“I think it’s lovely,” says the eccentric child actress, and she’s right - it’s a beautiful image, just like it was on the cover of Blood Heat. And appreciating it here is great if we don’t then have to engage with the logic of the episode. Boyce gives dialogue to the girl that nails exactly how children experience the world, if not how they speak. But it takes longer than necessary to get to the money shot.
6/10
93.Dark Water
This is still utterly awful, in the sense of emotionally gut wrenching and also in the sense of completely wrong for Doctor Who. In my opinion, obviously. Good directorial flourish when Clara’s standing in the road and good cliffhanger. This is the hardest one to mark out of ten.
5/10
94.Last Christmas
It’s a bit like a Comic Relief sketch or something, but at least they’re getting all that out of the way pre-credits.
7/10
95.The Magician’s Apprentice
Unlike much of the rest of this two-parter, this cold open really bears re-watching. The continuity doesn’t quite work, but there is so much effort at tying this in with Genesis of the Daleks that you almost want to applaud. Clam drones, hand mines. And that wonderful moment when all Peter Capaldi has to do is face acting.
10/10
96.Under the Lake
What works so well here is the quick scene setting, some immediately identifiable characters and a big shock - nobody expects Moran to die. And then ghosts.
9/10
97.Before the Flood
We’re not expecting a cold open here, but in between the recap and the titles, here’s Peter Capaldi to break the fourth wall and explain the bootstrap paradox. It’s not necessary - it’s there for the hell of it, much like the rocked-up music, and I’m happy to go with it.
7/10
98.The Girl Who Died
The whole opening section with the love sprite etc is hard to engage with because they’ve played this trick too many times already. But I do quite like the way it segues seamlessly into capture by Vikings. And I enjoyed the Doctor’s reaction to them.
6/10
99.The Woman Who Lived
“ What took you so long, old man?” Remember how important these words were to us once? All the theories? Little did we know they would be thrown into the beginning of an episode of Blackadder the third. It really is very, very Blackadder.
6/10
100.The Zygon Invasion
This seems to require a lot of recap and a lot of exposition, done quite charmingly, but still clearly exposition. Followed by a brief action sequence and a really unnecessary guitar solo.
6/10
101.Sleep No More
“You must not watch this.” Ballsy move, as is ditching the opening titles. This feels like the opening to Inside No9 Does Doctor Who.
6/10
102.Face the Raven
Another end-of-an-unseen-adventure start, although this time at least for an important character arc reason. Then Riggsy’s tattoo, which is a nice concept. Odd to get him again, though.
6/10
103.Heaven Sent
This is such a well-crafted episode, but I’d forgotten all about these initial few minutes. Must be the weakest part of the episode? This one didn’t need a cold open - maybe a recap instead.
5/10
104.Hell Bent
Well, I guess you’re either engaged by this or you’re not. I’m rolling my eyes. We want Gallifrey! We want revenge! Not an elegiac scene with Capaldi interpreting Murray Gold!
4/10
105.The Husbands of River Song
This is far more fun and charming than I’d remembered. The antlers are a bit much and Matt Lucas is playing George Dawes, but it’s filmed beautifully, the carol is a nice touch and I love the flow chart gags.
7/10
106.The Return of Doctor Mysterio
Boy, is this an example of a cold open that doesn’t know when to stop. It’s really quite a lot of fun and the aesthetic is gorgeous. It would work well if it stopped when the Doctor is on the floor and says Merry Christmas Grant. It would even work if it stopped when they flew up into the air. But then it cuts to adult Grant with the baby, then back to child Grant in the air again. Enough already.
6/10
107.The Pilot
I once wrote an entire Twitter thread about how dreadful this sequence is. It hasn’t improved. It is badly written, it doesn’t go anywhere and it doesn’t make sense.
2/10
108.Smile
There are two scenes here. The first one, in the TARDIS, is actually quite annoying. The second one, on the planet, is very effective, but it sort of does and says everything that the episode has in two short minutes. And rather wastes Rani’s mum.
6/10
109.Thin Ice
Still a bit businessy, but the two leads are very agreeable in this and the little cliffhanger at the end works well.
7/10
110.Knock Knock
The whole ludicrous premise has to be set up in the first few minutes, so that feels very rushed. Then the creepy sequence where something happens to Pavel is neither creepy nor explicit enough.
5/10
111.Oxygen
Space, the final frontier. Well, I laughed. Voice over aside, the opening scene is tense, touching, tragic and effective.
9/10
112.Extremis
Two threads. The earlier one is emphasised and it still amuses me that the secret of the vault is just thrown in here before the titles. Missy begins her best run of episodes and the Doctor receives an email. Once you’ve seen the whole episode, the cold open improves in retrospect.
8/10
113.The Pyramid at the End of the World
I have no idea what they were up to here. The re-cap and the new material are mixed up with each other. Bill gets another date with Penny messed up, but the law of diminishing returns definitely applies. Finally, we get the revelation about the pyramid which is really all we needed for this cold open.
5/10
114.Lie of the Land
Now that is a great cold open. Of course, there was nowhere to go from here, but the propaganda, Capaldi’s voice, the arrest and Bill’s face - superb. I could quibble over the lazy use of past footage of monsters, but I won’t.
10/10
115.Empress of Mars
The message uncovered on Mars is a good joke, almost worth the build-up, but not quite. This cost a fair bit - actors and set all not needed after the titles - and I feel like we could have survived without.
6/10
116.Eaters of Light
Characters from the future encountering the effects of the story to come… A message from the past containing an anachronism… How odd that these two consecutive stories have such similar cold opens. This one is a little dull, to be honest.
5/10
117.World Enough and Time
Come on, this was exciting. But take it away and you’ve got the first shot of the big ship as your cold open and that would have been awesome.
8/10
118.Twice Upon a Time
This is rather lovelier than I remembered. The dialogue is heartwarming in a Time Crash sort of way whilst simultaneously hinting at the stakes. The snow stopping is a great moment and ought to be a cliffhanger, but the arrival of the captain is as superfluous to the cold open as in fact he is to the remainder of the story.
7/10
119.Spyfall
It’s been quite a while since the last cold open. This one is epic and planet-wide, but the rule of three requires the third death to be...different somehow. Reveal more. Mean more. The stakes don’t raise.
7/10
120.Can You Hear Me?
So now we have cold opens...occasionally? At random? This is a good one though, with nice performances, an interesting setting and a big scary claw. It should end sooner though, because the face is less scary.
8/10
121.The Haunting of Villa Diodati
If cold opens are optional, why is this one? It undersells the episode to come with stilted dialogue and a terrible false shock at the end. Only Fletcher rolling his eyes hits the mark.
4/10
122.Ascension of the Cybermen
It’s trying its best to be atmospheric and portentous but unfortunately it’s also superfluous and lacking in content. Nice trick with the eye though.
6/10
